One evening several years ago my husband and I were sitting
in our family room. The fire from the fireplace gave a warm and
cozy glow to the room as we found ourselves talking about what
matters most in life. He asked me the question, "What is the
most important goal in your life?"
Reflecting back on the evening I saw our two little girls, Allison
3 years old and Emily one and a half years old, playing so happily
beside us in their pink jammies with their soft blond hair gently
framing their sweet, innocent faces. I recalled the frequent times
that evening they would call to us to watch something
"important" they had done and remembered all the little tokens
of love they would bring us, trusting us to keep them safe until
they would return for them. As I sat quiet - the cords of my heart
were pulled by "only a mother's love" placed there by God Him-
self, and with tears in my eyes I answered the
most important
question
of my life in these words, "I want my girls in heaven. I
want to know that they will be saved and forever enjoy the beau-
ties and happiness there. I don't want them to miss out and
have to suffer the fire of damnation and be forever lost. I don't
even care if I don't make it - but I want them to be in heaven."
As I spoke these words, awesome and solemn thoughts
flooded my mind. "If you don't make it - will they? How will they
know the way to heaven if you don't? Who else cares and loves
them as much as you do? Then who will lead them if you don't?"
My husband, turning to me with tears in his eyes said, "How
much do we really care? Is this just an emotional experience
tonight or are we willing to make practical changes in our lives to
accomplish this goal? You see Honey, I want this too, but I'm a
realist and know that in a day or two when the emotion is gone,
that unless we make a firm commitment to persevere in this
goal, we will fall right back into our old habits and lifestyle - and
we will lose time and precious opportunities in meeting our
heart's desire. Are you willing - am I to make this commitment -
right now?"
"Yes!" I responded.
"I am too, so let's do it,
NOW!
"
Bowing on our knees before God and one another with tears
streaming down our cheeks we confessed and repented of our
mistakes and sins in raising our children and asked the Mighty
Counselor to give us wisdom, understanding, discretion, cour-
age and a willingness to raise our precious little girls for the
Heavenly Kingdom.
From that point we have never turned back. It has been and
continues to be our goal and life work to raise our children,
which are now 3 in number, to be "children for the Heavenly
King."
This has meant many changes for us as a family, as parents
and for me personally as the mother that it would be impossible
to share them all with you, but for the sake of this article I would
like to share these three important changes that have been
made and continue to be made in our lives on a daily basis.
These three
important, essential principles
as I call them, can
be applied in everyone's life regardless of your environment, fi-
nancial status, your educational background or your ethnic up-
bringing; and in application they cannot be separated. They are
as follows:
1. Surrender of my will to Christ - fully and completely - Prov-
erbs 23:26.
2. Being consistent in my life - in all areas including that of
training my children James 1:17, Hebrew 13:8
3. Using all my time for the glory of God - taking whatever
time is necessary to work diligently for the salvation of my chil-
dren - Hebrews 13:5.
In order to prepare my children to be "children for the Heavenly
King," I must first know the King. I do not mean to be well
versed in doctrines and Bible truths, but rather - to have a per-
sonal, abiding experience with Christ, a willingness to
know
and
do
His will. To learn how to totally abandon my own will and
ways to thinking about things and doing things, and to fully sur-
render my heart and say, "Not my will, but Thine be done." Luke
22:42. This submission is not a one time submission but rather
an ongoing moment by moment yielding of my own selfish
plans and desires, and a willingness to give myself entirely to do
God's will. As I am learning how to do this more
and more I have come to know and experience
that only in this complete surrender do I find my
greatest happiness and peace.
One of the first areas God brought me to, as I
prayed for His will to be done in my life was the
time that I was spending on the telephone talking
to friends about things of little or no value when
weighed against the things of eternal value - my
children's salvation. As I began to be willing to
put my own interests aside in this area and make
a choice to only use the phone for a "real need,"
and when someone called to take care of the
business and not enter into "chit-chat" conversa-
tion, I began to see the hours a day that were
being spent with others - thinking I was spending
them with my children because I was home with them. I also
saw how I was putting off their needs and ignoring their misbe-
havior because I was so involved in my conversation that it was
inconvenient to work with them. When I would hang up either I
had lost my patience with them or they had lost their interest in
what they were doing that they wanted help with. I was allowing
other people and circumstances to take my time for doing the
most important work. Now I could understand why God had
asked me to yield my self in regards to the use of our phone.
Other areas in my life were brought to light as I continued to
seek to cooperate with God in the salvation of my children. One
of those areas was that of shopping. Not that it is wrong to
shop, but rather how much time was spent perusing the malls
and stores without a "real need," and also the money that was
spent needlessly; this was how God was asking me to give my
will to Him.
I was beginning to understand that God was asking me to
"redeem the time" - Ephesians 5:16.
My time
, because there was
a great work to be done in my life and the lives of my little ones.
Not only was my life changing in a willingness to know and do
God's will, but my dear husband also began to be shown areas in
His life to "cut out" like the ball games, the extra committees, etc.
so that he could have more time with the children and with me.
He also began to take more seriously his God given role as
"priest" and "houseband".
The things that we were being shown to cut back on or out of
our lives were only because God wanted to show us things that
we needed to implement in our lives and the lives of our children
to prepare us and them to be "children for the Heavenly King."
Our commitment was to prepare our little ones for heaven and
to this end we have never turned back.
We began our new commitment in self examination and asked
ourselves: Are we as parents instilling these kingly characteris-
tics in our lives of our children at the beginning of each day? Are
we seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness that
all these things shall be added unto us? Matthew 6:33.
We realized that we were not orderly and thorough in truly
seeking after the righteousness of God - and
committed ourselves to give Him the first hours
of our day to seek, to know and to do His will.
In addition, we began to practically work with our
three small children in training them to order
their day with God first, and to be thorough in
learning how He loved and cared for them and
wanted to guide them through their day, just as
He did ours. Before they could read, we would
put on a simple, acappella scripture song tape -
and in just a few weeks we were excited and
amazed at the numerous Bible passages they had
memorized, and were thrilled to hear them cheer-
fully sing them as they went about their day. I'll
never forget the day I heard our three year old
son singing, "I am crucified with Christ, neverthe-
less I live, yet not I but Christ liveth in me, and the life which I
now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who
loved me, and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20 as he was
out weeding the garden. It was also helpful to bring out God's
Word through the songs they knew as we would instruct them
through the day.
Then as the girls grew older and could read, I would spend
time with them morning by morning teaching them how to read
God's Word for personal application. 1) What did God want to
do for them for their salvation? 2) What does God want them to
do for their salvation? I remember some time ago when Allison
then 9, Emily 7 and I were studying Joshua 18 - telling how the
promised land was being divided up. In verse 2 it tells us God's
part - "And the land was subdued before them." Then when we
got to verse 8 and it said, "... Go and walk through the land, and
describe it, and come again to me ..." Allison said, "I see, God
wants us to take a close look at ourselves, to see how we really
are and come to Him so He can change us, and give us what He
knows is best for us." What an encouragement and joy to my
heart. God was actually instilling His characteristics in my little
one.
This sitting at the feet of Jesus is necessary for us and our chil-
dren to come to "know" who Jesus is and what part He plays in
our lives today. These
little attentions often
are the beginnings
ìRedeem
the
timeî
Eph. 5:16
of "Training up a child in the way he should go and when he is
old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6. Don't you long to
see yourself and your child excited about heavenly things?
To be a "child of the Heavenly King" we must be like the King -
the Lord Jesus - in character. "The Bible presents a perfect stan-
dard of character ... You can
attain to the high standard set be-
fore you in the scriptures, and you must
if you would be children
of God. 5T 264.
This was what the Lord was asking us to allow Him to put into
our lives - His very character. This is what our children needed in
their lives. It was not enough, just to be "good, moral people,"
but rather to be "Christ-like". So we began and continue to
study
and search
His Word to know and understand what His charac-
ter is like.
It has been exciting to us to see the common,
simple stories of the Bible unfold with practical
truths and principles as we have been willing to
"search the Scriptures" as for "hidden treasures" -
not for a knowledge alone, but for application to
our lives.
In the very first chapter of the Bible is found sev-
eral attributes of Christ's character. In the simple
record of creation we see God's order, neatness
and thoroughness in which His work was done -
"that it was good". Genesis 1:10.
Was the work of my hands neat, orderly and
thorough? How did I keep our home? The floors,
counters, furniture, cupboards, drawers and clos-
ets? Did they show that I was neat, orderly and
thorough? How was our car and garage kept, the yard, and sur-
roundings? As we saw these character traits of God we realized
we fell short in some of these areas and began to evaluate all our
work according to His standard. Then claimed His strength to
have these attributes of His character instilled in us. But it did
not stop here! We saw the need to have these characteristics
instilled in our children's lives also.
It required of us, a surrender of our old habit patterns and a
willingness to do it God's way, not just one time, but consistently
choosing to be neat, orderly and thorough. At first I thought I
didn't have the time. But learning to act from principle by God's
power, I saw that in reality I
saved time
. I would not have to go
back and do the "task" over again. It required and continues to
require a submission on our part, but we can understand and
experience now, how our characters are being changed, as it is
becoming "more natural" to do our work by "God's standard". In
addition, I came to understand that just as we live our physical
and temporal life, so also is lived our Spiritual life. (FE 32,33)
In order to prepare our children to be "children for the Heav-
enly King," they too must have these attributes of Christ's charac-
ter instilled in them. They must understand practically how to
experience these things, and it was our responsibility to train
them knowing that as we were willing to cooperate with Him, He
would provide the power to instill neatness, order and thorough-
ness in them. (Philippians 4:13) So, our children have become a
part of the simple and practical every-day duties of our home, for
in what better way could these characteristics be taught!
In every new "duty" we give instruction by
example, precept,
show and tell
. This is the same way that God works with us.
Then we have them repeat the demonstration and evaluate their
understanding to know how to better help them. This process
will need to be done several times according to our child's par-
ticular age and understanding. We as parents must be willing to
give or ourselves, our time, consistently
to train them in the
right way.
I remember when we taught our two year old son how to
make his own bed. It required a choice on our part to invest
time, consistently - morning by morning - having him pull up his
sheet first, then the blanket, then the bedspread
each time getting the wrinkles out before going to
the next, and showing him how he could keep it
straight and even so that the sheet wasn't hang-
ing out from under the spread, and finally, how to
put the pillow on. We did not just discuss with
him the task at hand, but also how everything we
do should be done our best, as unto Jesus.
(Colossians 3:23) We told him that Jesus is happy
when we do our work well, and he too is happy
when he does his work well. In several days the
reward came as our son made his bed all alone
before we came in to him, and he was so excited
that he had done it "all by himself" and that it was
done "well". Words cannot express the joy that it
brought to our hearts to experience in this simple way the true
happiness that comes when we
choose
to follow after the King
and not our own way. You see, it would have been much easier
for us to make our son's bed. It would have been made better
than his best at two years old, but we realized that the counsel
given to us as parents to train and educate our children had a
deeper value than what may first appear. We are instructed to:
"Help your children, parents to do the will of God by being
faithful in the performance of duties which really belong to them
as members of the family. This will give them a most valuable
experience. It will teach them that they are not to center their
thoughts upon themselves, to do their own pleasure, or to
amuse themselves. Patiently educate them to act their part in
the family circle, to make a success of their efforts to share the
burdens of father and mother and brothers and sisters. Thus
they will have the satisfaction of knowing that they are really
useful."
AH 285-6
.
Useful occupation not only helps to relieve the day to day bur-
dens of father and mother, but gives us as parents practical op-
portunities to instruct our little ones in the ways of the King. This
is one way we can help them develop the characteristics of
Christ, such as neatness, order, thoroughness, perseverance,
patience, honesty, integrity, simplicity, diligence, gentleness,
unselfishness and many more. In addition, it provides other
Help your
children,
parents, to
do the will
of God
benefits to our children.
First
, our children are not left to idle-
ness and boredom, which will lead to self-centeredness and in-
dulgence of themselves in their own unguided pursuits.
Second
,
our children learn to experience the greatest joy and satisfaction
that comes from doing for others and that they have accom-
plished something worthwhile and useful.
This training can begin right now regardless of the ages of our
children. When working with our
babies
we can teach them to
pick up their toys and put them back into the basket before go-
ing onto something else. For our
toddler
, we can show them
how to rinse the dishes without covering themselves and the
floor with water. We can have them stand on a stool and clear
the shelf or dresser so it can be dusted. Four our
school age
child
, in addition to
all
the home duties that can and should be
taught, we can use their school work as the tool to teach them in
the lessons of neatness, orderliness and thoroughness. Are all
their letters formed as the "pattern," to the "best" of their capabili-
ties? Was the entire lesson completed? Was the lesson done
according to the instruction given? You might say, "Well, that is
the teacher's responsibility." But we as parents have been given
the responsibility to shape our children's characters (habits and
characteristics) to prepare them to be "children for the Heavenly
King." (Deuteronomy 6:7-9)
So also with our children at any age we can instill the character-
istics of the King in having them keep their rooms neat and or-
derly. Everything having a place and being kept in its place. This
brings up another character attribute of Christ and that is
"simplicity". We are told,
"If children would have firm constitutions they must live natu-
rally. The path of obedience is exalted by the Majesty of Heaven
coming to earth, and condescending Himself to become a little
child,
living simply
and
naturally
, as children should live, sub-
mitting to restraint and privation, giving youth an example of
faithful industry, showing them by His own life that body and
soul are in harmony with natural laws." YI 40.
Simplifying our lives from so many "things" has helped to re-
deem our time, as not as much time, money and energy needed
to maintain all our "things". This has also been beneficial to our
children, as the care of their rooms has been easier and is not a
temptation to them to become frustrated and discouraged be-
cause of
over clutter
.
As our children watched how we sorted through drawers, clos-
ets, cupboards, basement, garage and unburdened our lives of
boxes, boxes and more boxes of needless items, they too
wanted to unburden their lives of toys, stuffed animals and
clothes that were never being used, but required their time and
energy to maintain them. In addition to the "cutting away" of
things, they had a lot of fun seeking out a needy child or family
to give them to and experienced the joy of giving of themselves
to others.
These are but a handful of the ways that God has and contin-
ues to work in our hearts and lives, calling us to a
complete sur-
render
of all our heart, continually. This is what our high calling
is as parents - to surrender our own unsanctified thoughts, will
and ways to Christ and cooperate with Him in preparing our pre-
cious heritage to be "children for the Heavenly King." We must
be consistent, not only in our own lives, but consistent in instill-
ing the characteristics of Christ in our little ones. We must be
willing to give of ourselves and our time to this end.
Is it
too great a sacrifice
to give of ourselves to our children?
To answer this question my mind goes back to the night of our
discussion that has changed our whole life. I, rather we, wanted
to do
all
that we could in cooperation with God to prepare our
children to be "children for the Heavenly King," to know that they
would experience the joys of heaven forever. Oh yes, there have
been difficult areas in our lives to let go of, there have been trials
to try to get us discouraged, there have been temptations to give
up.
But
we have tasted and continue to taste of the Lord's
goodness (Psl 34:8), power (Isa. 40:29), and trust in His promise
that He will finish the work He has started in us and bring it to
completion (Phil. 1:6). As we look ahead at times it may seem
overwhelming but as we see the changes that He has already
wrought in our lives and the lives of our children, as we have
been willing to yield our own will and way, we look forward to
the new heights and rewards that we will experience here on this
earth. It daily requires of us a
sacrifice of self
. We must be will-
ing to give of ourselves, our time, constantly, but, will it seem
like too much when we
see
:
"With joy unutterable, parents see the crown, the robe, the
harp, given to their children. The days of hope and fear are
ended. The seed sown with tears and prayers may have seemed
to be sown in vain, but their harvest is reaped with joy at last.
Their children have been redeemed." CG 569.
Fathers and mothers, will you be willing to give of yourselves
for your children to
hear
the words of the King Himself, "Well
done, good and faithful servant ... enter thou into the joy of your
Lord," (Matthew 25:21) with your
"children for the Heavenly
King?"
